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My Current Emotion is Fury.

My mother.
Went to a meeting with my counselor Mrs. McCormack and the ever-illustrious Ms. Gerbretsadik about my "Grade" in Geometry. Apparently, she "tried to defend me" or whatever, and Ms. Gmotherfuckingexacerbationmachine went all alibi on herself and was all like "I dropped SO MANY of your daughter's TERRIBLE test scores to try to make her get a D at least, but she's just SO BAD at math that it COULDNT EVER WORK!" and my mom lapped it up. Shes been just waiting for any reason to go all Sergeant General on my ass since her last explosion. So she comes home and all quietly goes like "I talked to your teacher." And I happen to be watching the ending half of this totally sick movie that im enjoying a lot. And I go "Oh yeah?" and then she tells me the same thing, and adds this little undernote that...wait...wait for it....Okay. "You have to take Geometry over next year."
So I go "Oh. The second semester only though, right?"
Oh ho ho, Neeeeew. Never. The ENTIRE fucking year. All mine for exploring the beauty of shapes and all their glorious three page long formulas. And wait, thats not even the climax of our little story. Theres more momentous things yet to surprise us, more conflict to overcome. See, she also has been informed (By Little Miss Douchebag) that my powerpoint project SUCKED out the Wazoo, and I got no points for it towards my final grade. She said that all of my formulas were wrong, even though I had looked them up online AND in the textbook (to make damn sure) and that...well, theres no more, but that hurt like an S.O.B. I mean, I worked hard on that thing. And, have I mentioned that we've been paying 25$ an hour for geometry tutoring for like four hours a week? I studied my Ass off for that goddamn final also, and I swore that I got that shit right when I bubbled it in. Even if I didnt get it right, there was a 25% chance that I would have miraculously filled in the right circle anyways.
If there is a God, he hates my guts for not believing in him.
So I go into my room, I guess because I want to get a bra inside my shirt because were gonna "go out somewhere", and my mom just comes over and sits down on my bed and starts telling me off. Seriously, im almost on the verge of tears already because I hate Geometry and it doesnt seem to like me too much either. But you have to understand, my mother feeds on making my life a miserable pit of solitary hell for days on end. Then she goes dormant for a while, lets it pent up, and beats me down again maybe a few months later or so. The last time this happened was like January this year or something, and all I remember is going to a cafe with her and Sonya afterwards and she made a big scene trying to get me to stop crying quietly into my untouched food.
So shes all tersely going on about how im NEVER GOING TO GET ANYWHERE IN LIFE if I dont start standing up for my pitiful little fourteen year old self and getting what I want by actually talking to adults about my "problems" (how this relates, I have no idea), and then it elevates because Im staring at her like "I already feel terrible, Get the fuck out of my room!" and shes like LOOK IN THE MIRROR, THATS THE FACE THAT MAKES PEOPLE NOT WANT TO HELP YOU so im like "So what, im supposed to be taking this like *smiles wide* Yes Mom, this sure is some good stuff right here!" and she twitches a bit, and thens all like ARRRRGAHAHAHHDIFUEGIUGHUPHDYPWFGE *i honestly cant remember what she yelled about next* *I think it had something to do with me perhaps never going to college* and she storms out, and I run over and slam the door behind her and flop face-down onto my bed and hold a pillow tight on top of my head. I cant breathe, but I dont want to anyways. I want to just not exist. My life is a wreck. So I cry like a retard for the next few minutes, and then she comes back and sits right on top of my leg and wont move. Shes all "Why are you mad at me? Why are you mad at ME?" and I figure the best way to make her leave is to say nothing. So I do, and she just sits there. At one point she leaves, and I know its not over, and of course she comes right back in and just Badgers me about getting up and forgetting about what happened and why do I have to be such an angry teenager all the time?? Why do I hate everybody?!? Its behavior like this that blah blah blah
So I tell her that if she leaves Ill get up. Shes all like Why??? and I tell her again, and then again, and theres a lot of tension and grumbling, but honestly, I just want her to leave because im probably a mess, and I dont want her to see. She FINALLY leaves my room, and once again I get to shut the door, but I wipe off my bleeding mascara with my hands, and without putting on a bra or any new makeup, I just go with her.
Thankfully Sonya and her friend Arielle (who is a hyperactive little squirrel-child who loves me like her own mother) were there with us, so I eventually lightened up. We went to McDonalds. Woo. I got nothing to emphasize my pure, unadulterated (take that back...VERY adulterated) depression. But yeah. I think I've sufficiently gotten out my sorrows.
Hmm.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
adolescentbeat
Jun. 20th, 2008 03:00 am (UTC)
Aw. -pats back-


At least you'll possibly have a friend in gee-om-metry this year (me!). And, I know this'll sound horrible, but I had to take Algebra 1 three times in a row before I passed it, so maybe it'll make more sense the second time.
frontal_damage
Jun. 20th, 2008 05:11 am (UTC)
Thanks Taz. :)
You taking Saucerman? Ima try... Oh, and for senior prank?
I have a feeling Ms. G would be surprised if the floor of her classroom is turned into a pool filled with gigantic starving sharks, but maybe we could think up something more on our already suffering teen budget.
<333
Thanks for the virtual pat. X)
*SQUEEE*
adolescentbeat
Jun. 20th, 2008 05:38 am (UTC)
Oh, I actually have no clue which teacher I'ma having. Honestly, I'm hoping it's Saucerman, Levy, Ramstedt, or Reinstein.

We could fill her classroom with green jello or something equally disgusting.
frontal_damage
Jun. 20th, 2008 05:44 am (UTC)
Lawl, what a great idea. I only thought G and Saucerman taught geo...
Others do too????
Woooooow.
:D
*oozes with joy*
dabeesknees
Jun. 20th, 2008 09:44 pm (UTC)
eughhhh that's awful. math sucks. well i'll be with ya there. Josh had to repeat geometry and he got an A the second time 'round. You might as well email what you wrote to your mom if you ever intend on her understanding you, if you wanna be a rebel you could start there anyways fuck ms. G.
it won't be that bad, you're very smart and Ms. G's got a miserable life of being a math teacher.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )